kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via a-bit-disappointing)

62,536 notes

nearly-headless-horseman:

must-be-a-thursday:

First time listening:

Second time listening:

image

Third time listening:

WAITING FOR THE BUS TOOK A PICTURE OF ANOTHER BUS WAITING FOR THE BUS IN THE RAIN I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS AS THE SUN CAME UP BUT THE SUN AIN’T OUT NO MORE CAUSE IT’S GREY WAITING FOR THE BUS THERE’S A GREY ONE BLUE ONE A RED ONE ALL OF THEM TURNED AWAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS GOTTA CATCH A BUS GOTTA WATCH NEWS GOTTA REGIMENT A PLAN FOR THE DAY

BUS

image

This beat is so sick, it never falters, even thru all of the transitions omg what is this alien beauty?

(Source: sanity-schmanity, via fictitioushipster)

537,293 Plays / 107,460 notes
secretaryofsass:

look at all those chickenths

The Trio met for the first time 23 years ago today.
WHEN MY FRIEND GETS SLOPPY DRUNK AND I HAVE TO DELIVER HER TO HER BOYFRIEND

dejanentendu:

college-life-crisis:

image

I almost spit out my water

(via bayonetsofmoralindignation)

82,025 notes

qrieves:

Petition to invent microwaves that automatically mute after midnight instead of waking up the house/neighbours/ancestors

(via ill-mackle-your-smores)

903 notes
At the grocery store
  • Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
  • Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
  • Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
  • Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
  • Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
  • Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.
323,087 notes